De-stress vs. distress | Workshop offers strategies to reduce holiday stress

Official Statements

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kansas — Using the power of gratitude might help manage the stress and expectations felt around the holidays. Military and Family Life Counselor Rachelle Huddleston presented “De-Stress with Gratitude: A Holiday Season Wellness Workshop” Nov. 5, 2026, at the Resiliency Center at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. The workshop was offered to support Exceptional Family Member Program families, but the strategies for reducing stress, practicing gratitude and building emotional resilience are applicable for everyone to have a more joyful and less stressful holiday season.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Huddleston said that the brain releases different chemicals for stress and gratitude, that stress and gratitude cannot happen simultaneously, and that practicing gratitude can help the brain produce “feel-good” chemicals. “You can mentally actually say, ‘I'm thankful for this concert tomorrow night, and I'm anxious because I have to go get cookies for the concert,’ - you can have both of those things in your head, but in your actual neurological makeup, all the chemicals that are going through your body, they're different.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “During the workshop, Huddleston offered ways for people to alter perspectives to reduce the possibility of getting stuck in the fight-or-flight mentality - running away from the situation because it's so anxiety-producing, or fighting with whoever is there - and shift to a practice of gratitude. Prevention and intervention”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “She said making purposeful plans for when and how to incorporated the joyful aspects of the holidays - such as the examples that workshop participants listed of baking cookies with children and taking them to visit Santa, listening to Christmas music and driving around to look at lights - can help alleviate stress.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Huddleston said making a plan, be it what to wear the next day to deciding when to see the lights, can help prevent stress, and then intervening with techniques such as intentional breathing can help with coping with stressful situations. She led participants through a breathing exercise, with a four-second inhale through the nose and an eight-second exhale through the mouth.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Shallow breathing is actually kind of a signal to our brain that we're in a state of angst or panic, but when we take time to do a deep breath, that actually reminds our body that we're safe, reminds us that we are relaxed,” she said. “You can do that while your child is running between the school and the car, or from the driveway to the house. Just a couple deep breaths.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “You know that as a parent you help regulate not only yourself, but you also help regulate your child, or dysregulate your child, depending on what's going on in your own stress level, in your own mood.” Distress vs. eustress Huddleston described the difference between “bad” stress and “good” stress. “Distress happens when we see a situation or feel like we're in a situation mentally where we can't navigate it, like, ‘I don't know how I'm going to handle this,’” she said.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Eustress is also stress, but it's the body's feeling of maybe energy or excitement or a little angst. Say, you're getting a new job and you're going to go to that new job, and you feel like you're going to be able to do it, but you're not sure because you haven't done it yet. There's that kind of edgy but exciting feeling. The big difference is really that knowing, or that belief, that you can navigate it.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “I think the more we grow in our ability to trust our resources, trust our abilities, the more we can decrease the bad stress and increase the good stress or the eustress.” Checklist of anticipated stressors”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “One of the ways she suggested to help move from distress to eustress when anticipating all that is associated with the holidays is to make a checklist of the things that are going to cause stress. She said making a checklist of things that are bound to occur - from a family member arriving late to dinner to snarky comments made by a teen to a sibling’s criticism - can make it easier to observe rather than react when those things really happen.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “It's almost like watching a movie instead of experiencing the movie in real life. It's like you become a little more objective and you just notice what's happening. And you can even chuckle like, ‘I knew that was going to happen,’ or you can say, ‘I did not expect that one. Let me add it to my list.’ It’s just a playful way to manage some of the sometimes-chaotic things that happen at the holidays but do it in a little more user-friendly way that you're not taken under by.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Responding vs. reacting Huddleston said that intentional breathing and employing more creative ways, rather than using a default way of handling things, reacting with “fight or flight” or even ignoring the issue hoping it will go away, can effectively minimize stress when things happen that trigger anger, irritability and anxiety. Issue, challenge, opportunity, gift She asked workshop participants to think of something that they know will cause them stress this holiday season, and then work through that issue by applying gratitude in stages.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Participants were told to look at the problem as a challenge - something to solve - and then look at it as an opportunity - finding motivational tools to deal with the issue - and ultimately, be able to look at the problem as a gift. A predictably late dinner example was given, with inevitable consequence of hungry, cranky children, but that problem could be viewed as an opportunity to enjoy not rushing and a gift of togetherness with family members.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Sometimes the gift is in the simple things, like ‘I know the next time we're going to do this differently.’ It’s really just where we're putting our focus because all of those things are true. You are late: true. You are irritated: true. You do get to do this with your wife and child: true. So, which one do you want to focus on? Which one will be in charge of the experience for you today?”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “She said choosing words like “get to” vs. “have to” can also help deal with issues.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Is it ‘I get to get this stuff ready tonight, so we're going to have a good morning’ or is it, ‘I'm so irritated, I have to get this stuff ready tonight when I can be watching a show’? My word choices are powerful. There are words that can bring us more lightness, and there are words that can make it heavier. … It's almost a self-parenting or self-nurturing approach to where we're telling ourselves what we need to hear to do better.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “She said practicing gratitude takes time, like building muscle at the gym. “I started doing gratitude a while back, and I felt like I went for a year with just putting gratitude in a bucket, and it was never filling up. I'm practicing every day. Why is it never filling up? Why is it never overflowing? Why do I not feel it, even if I'm doing it? It took a long time, and I realized that a couple things. … It's a practice.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “Being in gratitude is a practice that we have to do to change our minds, as well as our outcomes. Our brain actually strengthens neural pathways when we use them, a.k.a. becomes habit, and some habits are a lot harder to maintain than others.” Huddleston said being gracious and even offering a “do-over,” acknowledging that everyone is going to have stressful moments and behave in less-than-ideal ways, might be part of that gratitude practice.”

• U.S. Army Garrison Fort Leavenworth, November 12: “It takes some thought and practice, and it really does give this gift of seeing things newly and having the experience you really wanted instead of the experience being ruined because you have this reaction or this moment that was not well prepared,” she said. “Let's be gracious and start over. Let's do it the way we want to do it. Let's go have fun. … Because what we really want are the holidays, joy, connection.”